After 60 odd years of our independence, this day 25 years ago marked the beginning of the breakdown of brotherhood and tolerance. A country despite its religious differences, was united in overcome foreign rule of over a century today faces the same battle with its own kinsmen. The political machinery of this country is geared to dividing the society to as much as it can in a desperate battle to acquire power.

Gone are those days where politicians were respected as philosophers and founders of modern society. The IAS, IPS officers only have to memorize their names to come to power, but the values they represented have disappeared. In the length and breadth of this country the Govt offices have a picture of Mahatma Gandhi hanging right in front of the entrance, but the values of truth, non-violence and tolerance that he preached during his life has gone amiss.

He who has most money to throw rules today. Resource, and not Reason rules Indian Politics after 62 years of so called independence. Politics has become a dirty, filthy and repulsive place to be. In the muddy slush called the government, the bureaucratic pigs enjoy life of lethargy and self gloating.

Kashmir, Bihar, Rajasthan, Maharashtra, Karnataka, Madhya Pradesh, Andhra Pradesh, without a vision are run by families (or at least have a huge familial influence in votes).

The Brits destroyed the education system which taught people to self-reason at the grass root levels. Today’s politicians have become experts at using this ever expanding void to fill their pockets.

Govt institutions such as the DRDO, ISRO etc have become haven for people who mint money at the expense of government sponsored projects. It is a well known fact that, when equipment and supplies are bought for these projects, the contractors have to pay these officials money, to get these contracts. The company which is best placed to pay the required sum (underhand) successfully gets the contract. (Unfortunately, there are no proofs with me to substantiate this claim). Simple stuff such as servicing the Air conditioners, or computers, the

quoted price = Actual price + the bribe money given to get the contract

On one end where in countries such US, where DARPA, is the major contributor to the advanced technologies, the Indian government controlled organizations are the leaches wasting money at the expense of the citizens of the country. Who is to account for them?

I started out wanting to write exclusively about Dynasty rule following the 25th death anniversary of Sri. Indira P. Gandhi and how much her decision to introduce her son into Indian political system and previously by her father brought a trend that is corroding today’s political system in India, but unfortunately nothing ever connected with India in general goes without talking about Corruption and Money-mindedness.

I returned from the US four months back. I will be flying to Taiwan in a few weeks. In these short few months I have had a chance to see in day to day life how much carelessness and indifference has grown in people towards a fellow citizens. I ask G_D standing on the shores of this country, what has happened to its past glory, how long will a common man in this country have the strength to struggle against that which is forcing him to abandon his pure nature and turn to violence and hatred?

Every single day I read the prayer with a simple request to G_D for peace. Every single time, I convince myself that it is noble to ask for peace; as anything else is plain outright selfish. But then it struck me couple of days back. How can G_D give me that, which is already mine? If I am asking Him for peace, I am assuming that it is an element that is not a part of me.

I looked at every scenario since that day, the argument with my Mom, the active debate with my sis and the scene where I seek advice from dad. Each case presented me with a choice in not only acting in a certain way, but forming a mental attitude of compassion and openness. I realized that by just knowing that I can be of service to the person psychologically. Keep their mental peace and in turn get in touch with my own.

Unfortunately our interaction with others forms but a minute fraction of our conversations. We converse with ourselves more than we do with anyone else. So my thoughts are my own greatest barrier to peace. Knowingly I forsake peace to yield to the call of the thoughts. Despite this realization I feel helpless and at loss at seeking peace.

So I ask myself having turned a corner in this life, What have I learnt so far that makes me a better human being today?

It’s a common knowledge that Alexander Graham Bell invented telephone, but ever wondered who invented the mobile phone without which most of us can’t imagine our lives today.

It is Marty Cooper (born December 26, 1928 in Chicago, Illinois). In 1973, while working at Motorola, lead engineer Marty Cooper introduced the world to mobile phone. Cooper is said to have made the world’s first-ever mobile phone call on April 3, 1973 to a rival engineer at AT&T’s Bell Labs. In October of the same year, Cooper filed a patent for the “Radio telephone system.”  The original Motorola DynaTAC handset, weighed 1 kilogram (2.2 pounds!! my laptop weighs about that much) and had 35 minutes of talk time. By 1983 and after four iterations, Cooper’s team had reduced the handset’s weight by half. The list price was around $4,000. Cooper left Motorola before they started selling handheld mobile phones to consumers.

Currently, Cooper is CEO and founder of ArrayComm, a company that works on researching smart antenna technology and improving wireless networks. Popular Star Trek’s Captain Kirk’s communicator device is said to be Cooper’s inspiration.

life in the slow lane, taking forever to remove the ancient newsfeeds from BBC… just too lazy to browse the entire wordpress to remove it… need to act on new sources of ides for the blog… high time…

I love Opera browser, not for its speed and ease of use (which is not one of its high points), but its download manager. On my slow network its the only browser thats given me the capability to resume abruptly terminated downloads. Although mozilla has had this feature for sometime but it never seems to actually work for me…

On a cleaning spree… oh… I love cleaning up, just as much the finished code as my room… lol… its 3am in the morning… dude get to sleep….

The company one keeps determines one’s character. People join groups where they can freely express their innate nature. You must carefully choose the company you are in. Consider this example: A length of string is a worthless thing, no one will wear it in the hair or place it reverentially on an idol of God. But, when it associates itself with a few fragrant flowers, then women decorate their hair with it and devotees place the garland of flowers on the idol they adore.

The confusions of today pave way for the questions of tomorrow. How does one go about seeking an answer to his questions? What does he use as a guide to direct his thinking? The scriptures and Swami talk about an inward inquiry. The voice of the divine spark in us speaks to us in the silence of the surroundings and the heart. Yet one needs the courage to seek this answers.

What do we seek? Peace is a camouflage given to a much deeper need for attention, success and prosperity in some and something else in others. How then does one understand the play of thoughts? The Yoga Vasishtha calls fate is a play of self-effort or lack of it thereof. To seek something a desire needs to develop. To fight for it, a motivation and a strong sense of prompting must be there. Over the last four years of my life, this sense of desire has gone haywire. It is not that I don’t have any desires, but they seem completely contraditary to my inner promptings. They seem to cloud my judgement about the truth about my understanding of life and abilities given to me in this life.

I have so far hurt my Self so much, that I doubt the intelligence give to me by G_D. Swami has been the once source of strength in this life. Unfortunately, I am constantly making efforts to go contrary to what He says. After the initial few visions of His presence around me, I have not had any more chances of seeking His presence. The native american book talks about special efforts to be made for days or even months before the medicine men could get visions of the future. It is as if He speaks through these words telling me, that I have fallen very deep into the ways of the world of late and need deep spiritual exercises before getting His vision. It is not the boon of material, but the gift of His presence which gives peace and happiness. Rest is mere show and lip service.

How much ever I try not to make a decision, I keep coming back to it. Things are pretty simple as they stand for most of us. But added the mental conditions and desires, things get too complicated. I stand today on the crossroads of building a career. I seem incapacitated on most occasions to choose. I was complaining to Swami (spiritual Master), choose something for me, I will do as you wish, but relieve me from this burden of this illusion of deciding my fate. But what am I to do when I cannot see His grand plan? Where am I to look for advice when the situation demands an action? They (don’t know who) say gamble and chance (pretty much the same thing) is a part of life. But one gambles when one knows what they want. Its like gambling on a gamble, meta-games in economic theory.

I feel currently incapacitated by my lack of foot-hold in life. When people praise others, I almost feel equivalent to them defaming me. I who has no backing of good references, who has pretty much a neutral opinion about myself, cannot see today as any different from tomorrow. Every single day lacks a motivation to do something. It is as if, just a part of life that makes no sense and is coming and going as a routine. I know I will keep thinking about it this way till there is someone who feeds my belly, gives me a bed to sleep in and a roof over my head. The moment I am on my own, when there is no one to look after this body reality will strike, the same way it struck when I was unceremoniously kicked out of UCF Economics program.

People dont know how lucky they are when there is someone to fall back on to and take care of them in times of crisis. I for one know how much for granted I take my mom and dad. I see the pain they go through even today, when I should take care of them. I have advertently brought suffering to many people I know. Unfortunately, I feel hapless in my thinking. There are so many avenues that come to mind, but I dont know what I want to do. More than that, I dont know what I “should” do.

Unfortunately the dilemma does not end there, questions just keep piling up in my head as to, whether I gotta ask “should or want”. The question stems from the basic inquiry about life’s choices. That is if they are made for you already or are they made here through the options presented in front of us. If I am here for a certain desire to be fulfilled, if so then what is it? If I can just find out about it I will follow it wholeheartedly. Then, if I am here to fulfill that desire, what about all the other desires I have formed for myself. Are they part of the things that need to be fulfilled too before I am content spiritually. Should I just chuck them all and get into something that slowly but surely eliminates all these desires and brings back Me (to me) without all these questions, just peace and contentment. If that is the case, then what if whatever I get into, I am not able take care of my family. What if they are saddened by this affair and I become a cause for their agony. Beyond all that “Does all this matter?”

If anyone is reading this (very unlikely), and is very confused about it, then you can multiply that confusion ten times and imagine the state of my head right now. LOL, but trust me it is the most happening place on earth right now.

The most sought after, the most debated and the most violent topic in life. Right from our birth we oppose and fight, argue and break, just for establishing to ourselves, the existence of free will. The system of Democracy was built around this so called free will. War for independence has been fought in the name of free will. People struggle in their lives, earn money, gain positions of power in order to establish their power of free will.

Today I fight a similar battle, with the desire to establish myself in this family. With a desire to have a position of responsibility and say in this family. At the same time be able to choose my career through free will. I who has struggled with failures over the past three years, trying to establish my free will, have learnt one thing. What ever it is, its nature is like that of sand. The more I try to grab on to it, the more it slips away. I have learnt that I dont fully comprehend the meaning of free will, pride can sometimes disguise it self as a desire for free will.

I sometimes think of these very interesting names and themes to write about. But never seem to be happy with the justice I do with them. However, today was slightly different; I started today thinking about the phone interview with the research guy at GE. It is on friday and I know in my heart I am not prepared. Every word I read and try to understand I feel I am trying to be a liar. I want it so bad that I feel this is the only opportunity for me to redeem my past. A chance to accept responsibility.

I sense how mindful I am of the opportunities and benefits this position presents, the dreams and aspirations, the pride. But it is only in mindlessness can I get peace and contentment I seek.

Ever since I came to India about 3 weeks back. Ever since lading here, I am surprised to see sexual assault cases making regular headlines in the news. I am not going to point to specific cases, as each one of them has been gruesome and debilitating. I feel as a person, a human, a member of the society, a part of this country, what can I do? How can there be a support structure to help these innocent victims? Mind that, these are only a small fraction of cases being made public. There may be so many who are just too ashamed or scared to come out into the open. How then can an effect system be established that can do some meaningful help. I feel powerless and at the same time provoked (almost) to take some action.

After all, everyone of us loves to chat and discuss, but back out when it comes to action. This is a social problem that needs action from the entire society, without involvement of the entire society it would be worthless. Anyone has any suggestions to get started…?