I am back in India, after my brief stint at the Economics department at UCF. In the grand scheme of time the last three years at UCF seem almost trivial and of inconsequential. But today they are the most influential parts of my future decision making. I have spent the better part of last week explaining to people what I have been doing and at times almost hiding from them truth of the matter or even avoiding a meeting.
Although, in my heart I know what swayed me to move to Economics after two years of PhD in Electrical Engineering (close to completion), I feel at a loss to explain and seek advice from others. The wheel of time goes on, but how important is it for one to pursue the path of self development at the expense of stability in life. One may argue that stability comes from personal satisfaction. But is personal satisfaction more important than practical responsibilities of life.
Today I do not carry the burden of being accountable for another life. But it won’t be long, most likely in the next two years, before life places me in such a position. I do not want to be a cause for pain to my parents in this respect… but I don’t understand the way to proceed. The magnitude of situation for me personally is immense.
But if I stepped out… of myself and think in the context of this entire expanse of the universe, I see a speck of sand complaining about life… but who is listening…??!!