The confusions of today pave way for the questions of tomorrow. How does one go about seeking an answer to his questions? What does he use as a guide to direct his thinking? The scriptures and Swami talk about an inward inquiry. The voice of the divine spark in us speaks to us in the silence of the surroundings and the heart. Yet one needs the courage to seek this answers.
What do we seek? Peace is a camouflage given to a much deeper need for attention, success and prosperity in some and something else in others. How then does one understand the play of thoughts? The Yoga Vasishtha calls fate is a play of self-effort or lack of it thereof. To seek something a desire needs to develop. To fight for it, a motivation and a strong sense of prompting must be there. Over the last four years of my life, this sense of desire has gone haywire. It is not that I don’t have any desires, but they seem completely contraditary to my inner promptings. They seem to cloud my judgement about the truth about my understanding of life and abilities given to me in this life.
I have so far hurt my Self so much, that I doubt the intelligence give to me by G_D. Swami has been the once source of strength in this life. Unfortunately, I am constantly making efforts to go contrary to what He says. After the initial few visions of His presence around me, I have not had any more chances of seeking His presence. The native american book talks about special efforts to be made for days or even months before the medicine men could get visions of the future. It is as if He speaks through these words telling me, that I have fallen very deep into the ways of the world of late and need deep spiritual exercises before getting His vision. It is not the boon of material, but the gift of His presence which gives peace and happiness. Rest is mere show and lip service.